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HOW TO STAY ON THE PATH

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Post by louise Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:14 am

for me having a very demanding lifestyle that i cannot change on the outside is very testing when it comes to staying and not giving up the path i have chosen,
i very rarley have time now for meditation and this saddens me tremendously,
my partner works all hours and travels 100 miles everyday to and from work not getting back until all the children are asleep,dont want to bore you too much, but i would love it if anyone has a solution to keep me on the path,
my day starts at 6am after my partner has left for work, i get my two teenagers up for school, make sure they get off ok, then i get up my 7,5 and 4 year old, get breakfast, dressed washed, packups, walk 2 of them 1 mile to school, then walk another mile to take little one nursery, walk home tidy up, then hour later fetch her from nursery, make things with her, then lunch, then tome to pick others up from school, etc ,
by the time i have for myself to sit , its 10pm, my 4 year old wakes up early hours in morn, 2am, 4am everynite, so im weary and tired almost everyday,
i used to go to my local buddhist centre on monday nites, but now my little girl gos rainbows on that nite,
somenites i will have time to meditate for half an hour,
but because of the lack of sleep mindfulness in nearly everything ido and say has nearly gone out of the window,
i need a lift , a big lift to try and stay focused, any suggestions would be recieved most gratefully. :hitself:
louise
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:53 pm

louise wrote:for me having a very demanding lifestyle that i cannot change on the outside is very testing when it comes to staying and not giving up the path i have chosen,
i very rarley have time now for meditation and this saddens me tremendously,
my partner works all hours and travels 100 miles everyday to and from work not getting back until all the children are asleep,dont want to bore you too much, but i would love it if anyone has a solution to keep me on the path,
my day starts at 6am after my partner has left for work, i get my two teenagers up for school, make sure they get off ok, then i get up my 7,5 and 4 year old, get breakfast, dressed washed, packups, walk 2 of them 1 mile to school, then walk another mile to take little one nursery, walk home tidy up, then hour later fetch her from nursery, make things with her, then lunch, then tome to pick others up from school, etc ,
by the time i have for myself to sit , its 10pm, my 4 year old wakes up early hours in morn, 2am, 4am everynite, so im weary and tired almost everyday,
i used to go to my local buddhist centre on monday nites, but now my little girl gos rainbows on that nite,
somenites i will have time to meditate for half an hour,
but because of the lack of sleep mindfulness in nearly everything ido and say has nearly gone out of the window,
i need a lift , a big lift to try and stay focused, any suggestions would be recieved most gratefully. :hitself:


Hi Louise,

First.....why can't your teenager get themselves up & fed ??????
(mine do)

Do you live out in the country ?
No car ?
No neighborhood friends with cars ?

Walking is nice...can be relaxing too....

Being that you have teenagers..can you motivate them to watch the younger children for a few hours so you can have some alone time ??????

It shouldn't be that difficult to find a few hours to yourself if you get a little help.
Don't try always to take it all upon yourself.
Can you ask a sister/friend to relive you once in a while ????????

other than that....sometimes when i don't have time i just meditate when i'm laying down ...before i go to sleep....that's how i did my practice....lol

But your practice starts when you wake up....being mindful and aware all day long....till you go to sleep...being a good mom now is better than being a good meditator...........(imho)




_/\_
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Post by louise Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:38 pm

its being mindful of my stress in the morning that im struggerling with mostly, its such a rush, ive tried walking meditation on the way to school, not good, lots of things on path, try so hard not to step in it, my teenagers should be getting themselfs up yes, i think your suggestion of meditating whilst lying down is a good one, as long as im not too tired, the bath is also good , i tried that last nite , my feet and hands were wrinkerly but a got a good session in, this morning was better, will have to find the right balance, just out of intrest, how do your teenagers think about buddhism, are they intrested or do practices?
louise
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:15 pm

i just thought of another thing...could you put the kids into bed earlier ?
when my kids were little...after i put them to bed...and everyone was asleep...then it was my turn !!!!!! i'd sometimes make a pot of coffee and stay up late and paint...or write....just chillin by myself...it was heavenly !!!

i really don't know what they think about Buddhism...i don't think they're that interested in religion now...their religion seems to be sports & working out....
but they are good-hearted and kind and honest...

as far as rushing in the morning....i never rush ...even when i'm running behind...i just can't anymore...my body won't let me....usually i take a hot bath in the morning and just relax...no hurry..no worry...eveyone is sleeping...it's about 5AM...
i never think about what i'm going to wear...i just throw something on thats been crumpled up somewhere...i get ready in about 1/2 hour...sometimes 5 minutes !

you just have to slow down while your moving fast...hard to explain...just stop being stressed out....relax whatever you are doing....you don;t need to be stressed even though you are multitasking......maybe the kids will calm down more if mom is calm.....


_/\_
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Post by louise Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:54 pm

thankyou, i know that if im not stressed then the little ones seem to behave, once again mindfulness, i must when i feel the seeds of anger and frustation just say to myself, there just feelings before they sprout, easier said than done, but that is the path ive chosen to practice, practice and patience. :truce: no surrender.
louise
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:08 pm

You also can play some relaxing Tibetan Music in the morning...it' is so peaceful and relaxing...it will be like practice... while eveyone is getting ready in the morning...all day long many Tibetans say mantras...this might help you feel connected also....all day can be your practice...whatever you are doing....you don;t need to set aside special time ...make everything you do your practice...being mindful ...peaceful....loving....as much as possible !!!!!!!

Make sure your needs are met tho...it's easy to take out anger on kids when your not happy/needs not met/tired/whatever.....you absolutely need to take out time for yourself !!!!!!!!!!!! you have built-in babysitters !!!!! reward them with something special for helping you out sometimes....maybe the same time each day.......sit down and have a heart to heart talk with them.....



_/\_
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:14 pm

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Post by muni Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:52 pm

Wonderful tips!
And then Louise can maybe see practice in the whole daily actions as a painting to plunge in. But when we try to force practice or get disappointed because there is no time can that bring us even farther away from practice. Then there is no relax and no natural flow. Force ourself to practice is as unnatural as force ourself to not think. Then there is a whole army of thoughts rushing in and out. clown

Spontaneous dwelling in daily present life and learning from all what comes and goes. Then you can look like to a spectacle, a performence what goes on and on in change.

Don't try to be good and peaceful with force. The incoming thoughts when the body is tired can look less beneficial. Then to realize the nature of thoughts; selfless with no owner is very good practice. As thoughts lose power. Mindful through the day is good practice. Body speech and mind.

Buddhism is toward liberation of suffer, not to make life a hard time to struggle for an aim. Being diligent is good I think.

Yes, Kunga, mantra and music! My favourest is from Guru Rinpoche. That poor CD is certainly a really strong one, as no idea how many hours he turned. I sing with it as well. Then my dog looks with such compassionated eyes like he is thinking: oh dear, she must be sick. Haha!
Be kind for you Louise! Dwelling in the daily Mandala, everything is in fact perfect. _/\_ Big smile to the little ones! Very Happy
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:43 pm

LOL...Muni..lol...(dog thinking you must be sick singing mantras..lol)

How about faking it before making it ? lol (good & peaceful with force ) lol

Anyways...Louise...i was wondering if your husband/partner is off on weekends if he could take you out to dinner/dancing (whatever) sometimes....your teens can babysit...when the little ones are asleep it won't be as much work for them....anyways...just a thought......

i use to say that i go to work to relax...because being at home was so much work...lol...

i hope you find some peaceful interludes to keep you sane Louise Smile
remember they won't be little forever !!!
enjoy them & have fun...when your're happy/they're happy Smile

how about a bike with attachments (seating) in the back for the little ones to sit ?? on those long journeys to school....is that possible ???

hope things will get easier for you honey _/\_
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:47 pm

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Post by muni Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:41 am

Louise, children like to move and so take their little hands and hop around: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9Rpe98zeOY Or let them hop around while you take a break.
On top little ones often try to say the words of the mantra: very funny what they make of it!
In other moments you can take a more calm version.

Kiss on forehead for all.


Kunga, my cat loves it. She is looking so peaceful with music. She is becoming old and got now her own radio. Very Happy
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Post by louise Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:22 am

thankyou so much muni and kunga, its so refreshing when you hear words to encourage you on, it gives me a lift, as from tomorrow i will play some relaxing music in the morning and go with the flow, the kids will be calmer and happier, they love music, and its about time i asked my two teenagers to babysit, i do lots for them so something in return will be nice, and they will get treated for doing so, a happy home is a happy heart sunny
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Post by louise Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:32 am

my little 4 year old loves the mantra om ah hum vajra guru padma siddhi hum, she changes the words to oh ah hunny bun my mums got a big bum which makes her chuckle, Haha
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Post by Kunga Lhadzom Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:41 am

omg...that's funny Louise ! Kids that age say the funniest things...how precious they are...._/\_


i sincerely hope you guys have more fun times and less stress...
i know teens sometimes just want to chill with their friends...but if they're not working yet outside of the home, working a little & having responsibilities at home is good for them.

_/\_
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Post by muni Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:11 pm

Louise your little daughter seems to have talent for literature! sunny
Wishing you joy for practice. _/\_
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Post by muni Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:37 am

When a little seed of nature is tasted; can it grow and emerge in heart and mind. sunny

Then the gates of own mind are open and that own mind dissolves into...mind - space without end- without beginning- without middle place. Space and display are not separated.

With joy, compassion, equanimity and loving kindness, hopping through that space. Seeing the perfection of all and the defilements in a dream. As my own defilements cannot harm space but only me and other sentient beings. :bah:
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Post by muni Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:14 am

........and movements are flooding in vastness from the two wings of the wonderful bird Bodhichitta. Fly in freedom.

To recognize what is meant with obscurations, subtle in the dreamlike impermanent dependent world, can arise the space of knowledge in which genuine peace is for everyone.

The Vietnamese Teacher Thich Nath Hanh says: "enlightenment is already here".

But it is not "seen" when "inherent discriminating me" is here. Fluffy
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Post by muni Sun Mar 22, 2009 8:04 am

Maybe I should put these words in desperate housewives, or maybe here.


I bought a transparant table cloth. In the transparant material (plastic I suppose) are red-orange poppy-flowers printed. I place it on the naked table. Lovely! It is like the flowers are on the table.
Easy to keep the cloth clean with the Immeasurables- Paramitas. It looks beautiful.
Both; impermanent table and cloth with the printed poppies are interdependent products, dependent on many things and otherways not existing.

Figurative: I don't need to clean the table or cannot make a spot on it. It is the symbol of purity, it cannot be tainted. The lovely (as symbol of relative) cloth which forms one truth with the table I keep clean with soap of awareness each moment.

Both table and transparant poppy cloth are not separated and comes in one view.

The eventually spots (adventitious negative aspects) I make, are not innate on the clarity of the table (symbol of purity-innate mind) and so cannot touch. With Bodhichitta practice spots decrease. Smile
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Post by muni Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:58 pm

Oops! That preceding post is looking odd. Maybe I can add: it is symbolic and figurative. 🤔
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